Over the past 2 years I have been experiencing regeneration. My hands and feet have regenerated themselves, my hair is in the process of regenerating itself, my attitude and mindset is constantly evolving, and my overall being is constantly regenerating. (In fact, in the past year I grew 1 1/2 inches in height!!) One of the most amazing happenings in my life, as of now, is the regeneration of my soul.
A few months ago I read the book Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it. I thought the book was amazing, and ability to enter your subcounscious and revert back to past lives, and remove them from your current essence, was very interesting to me, but at the same time, I didn’t REALLY relate it to my own life. That is, until yesterday.
Currently, during my meditative practices, words or sayings will appear in my mind, and I will be forced to say these things out loud. For example, while I was focusing on the words, “Let go and Let G-d,” the hebrew prayer a father (and mother, but in my home, my dad does the honor), recites when he blesses his children on Friday nights, entered my consciousness and I realized, when my dad blesses me weekly, he’s really putting his faith and trust in Hashem, to look after me during the week.
So, this past week I was meditating, and the words “CHOOSE LIFE” came to me. These words struck me so strongly, I ended up shouting them over and over again, until I felt my body had heard the message.
This may seem bizarre, but in my mind, it made perfect sense. You see, I’ve always felt like an “old soul,” but over the past two years, I have felt a dichotomy within me between a young, vibrant, youthful soul, and an old, tired, distressed soul. My old soul wanted to hold on to my past struggles, sadness, and distraught, while my new youthful soul wanted to shine, smile, and bring light everywhere she went. This struggle is one that has left me in a constant state of struggling, on the inside.
I have tried to consciously interact with my higher consciousness, encouraging my old soul to leave me. “Let Go, and let G-d,” were the words I would constantly tell him (for some reason, I feel my old soul is that of an old man. That thought didn’t dawn on me until last nights meditation, but it made sense in the moment). I want to stay in this earth, in my body, to figure out my mission in THIS life, but I cannot do that with these struggling souls within me! The young, lively Julie Bird soul wants to fly and soar, helping to make the world a better place, but this old soul, is holding me back.
SO, at shul yesterday, I was (not) surprised when I learned the message of this weeks Torah portion was “choose life.” This Shabbat, is the last Shabbat before Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, when G-d decides who will live and who will die. Who will be forgiven, and who not. And as much power as Hashem has, that does not remove my own personal responsibility, to take control over my own life. So, I prayed my heart out and asked Hashem to take away my old soul, but to leave my new soul here with me. Protected, but open to the world. Ready to give the world as much as I can, while not losing myself in the process.
This week is going to be transformative for me in more ways than I know, however I am ready, with an open heart, soul, and mind, to embrace this coming year. My birthday, by the way is on Monday (Oct 3rd), so my next post will be from the new and improved, 26 year young, Chef Raw Raw.
Shanah tovah to you all! To a happy, healthy, sweet new year!
To feeling alive, vibrant and youthful,
Lady raw raw